I need an advocate

Week 1 on medication and I think he may need a little higher dose. Those first few days were great probably because he was sick on top of everything. He was acting how a kid should act when they're sick, lethargic and mellow. Once he started feeling better I could tell the medicine was taking the edge off but he is still having emotional outbursts at least once or twice a day. They aren't as long lasting and I think he is able to see the consequences more easily.

I can't wait for school to be out. I NEVER thought I would say that. School has always been my break, the thing that keeps me sane, but now it is a source of stress. John hates school and I can't blame him.

Many of his problems lately are the result of perceived injustice or are a result of his so-called "reputation". I had a long talk with him the other night and he expressed how upsetting it was to get blamed for everything and how frustrated he feels when he tries to explain the situation and no one will listen to him or believe him. If it were me I would throw an tantrum too!

He promised me that he would try really hard to take the blame when it was appropriate and to be honest about the situation at all times. I told him that if he could do that then I would believe him no matter what his teachers said. This poor kid feels like everyone is against him-- no wonder he hates school, he doesn't know who to trust.

Jared and I have been talking about finding a different school for him next year. The problem is that the open enrollment window closed in February. I went to the Magnet school here in town and tried to be placed on a waiting list, but they were reluctant to do that because it would mean at least four kids would have to drop out before August.

We just want him to go to a school where they work with his strengths and weaknesses. I want a school that can cater to his intellect and reinvigorate his drive for learning and discovery. John loves science and learning how and why things work the way they do. I had all but forgotten that this year- the curriculum and teaching style of the traditional classroom does not always encourage exploration and experiential learning.

I wish there were a neutral party available to tell me exactly what to do and how to get him to a different school and which school that should be. All his teachers are afraid to speak frankly with me for fear of repercussions or something I'm not quite sure what. When he was having all his problems I asked the special needs teacher if she had any suggestions on what I should do or if she had any idea what the problem was and she just shrugged her shoulders.

I mean really, John is not the first kid to come through the system with behavior problems! Why do I feel like he is the first case they've had? Why do I feel like there is no one there to help me find the right fit for him? Everyone's lives would be easier if he was happy at school. I know it is possible-- he was happy, confident, and secure last year in a preschool where the teachers truly cared and worked with him.