Sometimes the truth is the hardest thing to tell, especially when a lie would be so much easier.
Today I took the plunge and told someone close to my family about John's medication. It went about as well as could be expected. There was a look and then a denial that he has any problems (at least while in this person's company). And then an explanation that basically blamed it on the fact that Jared was away for most of the first year of his life.
It's hard when people make you doubt your convictions and what you know to be true. It feels silly that I have to constantly remind myself that I know my son better than anyone. That should never be in question, yet it is. I think because I have been searching for information, explanations, and advice, it is only natural for self-doubt to enter in. Especially when the criticism, or disbelief comes from people important to your family.
But it is true. I have to remind myself that Jared and I are the ones who are ultimately responsible for the care of this child. We need to follow our instincts as parents and reassure ourselves that we have his best interests at heart.
Plus, this person is the ONLY person who doesn't see a problem. That's got to tell me something.
nice. ohhhh ... if only I had known - now I can blame all of my children's problems on the fact that Sean has been away from them for almost half their lives. Got it.
ReplyDeleteGood for you .. .stick to your guns - YOU know what the 'truth' is ..
One of my pet peeves is poeple butting into stuff that is not their business, even extended family members or close friends. I sometimes think Evan may be ADHD, but if I say that, everyone around me freaks out with "he's a normal four year old" or "it's just a stage." What they dont realize is that you are with this little person 24/7, and have been since birth, and know when something is astray.
ReplyDeleteI think you are brave, and wise and are doing the best thing possible for your son. Who loves him or knows him better than you?
YOu can just be like Kathy Griffin and tell everyone to suck it.
It's weird but I agree that searching for answers does open the door to self-doubt.
ReplyDeleteWhen I told someone in my extended family that I was going to meet a physical therapist for Madeline because she was one-year-old and not even close to pulling up to stand, I was admonished that I was just holding her too much. The thought actually crossed my mind, "Is she right, am I holding her too much?" No, I was right, Madeline needed physical therapy. I know it's not the same, but I can totally imagine how you feel.
I am sure you know best, maybe with the exception of God. Still, I think if He were to reveal to someone how best take care of John, He would reveal it to you.
I agree with the above. Tell everyone else to suck it. It's not like we're talking about electroshock therapy or proclaiming your kid a medicine man who doesn't need chemotherapy to cure cancer.
ReplyDeleteEven if Jared being away were a big cause of this, what's that person's solution? A magic time machine that emits love and happiness throughout the spacetime continuum?
It sounds to me like you're acknowledging the issue and keeping an open mind about solutions. What everyone else opines about how this looks or about what it says about you is not relevant, and maybe people need to be explicitly reminded so.