The Last Resort...

First of all, I want to thank my friends, siblings, crying parents, etc. for supporting me. My intention isn't to fish for nice compliments (although...) rather it's to keep a record and glean information from others.

Thank you for "venting" Cindy, that is part of why I wanted to do this. Too often I find myself reading the books and searching for answers from others and I forget to appreciate the journey. This blog is going to help me appreciate the accomplishments, set backs, struggles, and victories of raising John. And if it helps to vent and share your own frustrations I totally welcome it!!!

John has been a strong character since he was born. My family and I joke that he was NOT happy about the newborn body he was given. He would scowl and look irritated as he observed the world. This, apparently, was not what he signed up for. I think he was so anxious about gaining a physical body that he didn't pay attention to the part about being a helpless newborn.

Sometimes I feel like I am making it all up, or like I'm overreacting and things aren't really that bad or hard with him. Maybe it's just our parenting styles, maybe I should have defined better boundaries when he was younger, maybe if I was more consistent... But then I receive the bittersweet confirmation that, yes, he is especially difficult and has unusual problems.

Our psychologist affirmed this to me today. John is struggling in all aspects of his life. The hardest part is that John recognizes this. There are some children who are oblivious to their roles in social situations, not so with John. He is aware that he is much more volatile than the rest of his class and it is starting to affect his self-esteem.

At this point in his life, John has been "diagnosed" with Sensory Processing Dysfunction (SPD), anxiety, and possibly ADHD, with evidence of a mood disorder (i.e. depression). If you ask me as his mother, John has SPD and some of the characteristics of ADHD. I think the others are a result of the former.

We have been working with him since he was two. We have tried various avenues of help. We are finally at the point of what several people have called "the last resort", we are on the cusp of treating John with medication.

We have not given up-- my outlook is actually very optimistic. We are planning to continue to pursue occupational therapy and adjustments to our diet while attempting to provide the structure he needs in every aspect of his life.

But for now, this is our next big step.